Thursday, October 9, 2014

My experience with females in the work environment

Before people dismiss me as a sexist,misygonist dinosaur- a relic of the Cold War as Judi Dench's M dimissed Pierce Brosnans James Bond in Golden Eye, please keep in mind my background- raised in a liberal semi Westernized family in India with two older sisters both of whom had swallowed the the feminist propaganda who "helpfully" regurgitated the same for yours truly.

So to some extant I believed some aspects of feminism. Mostly gender equity feminism ,that a woman can do anything a man can do, atleast in the work environment. The preference of women for traditional gender roles in my dating experience which contradicted feminism did not at the time concern me at the time . Neither did my subconscious clamping down of my feminist credentials during courting. I just thought- well that's how it is. Behold the mystery of woman and all that gobbledygook.

 I grew up admiring Margaret Thatcher, Indira Gandhi and (later) Sarah Palin and Angela Merkel. With this background , I entered the workforce for the first time and had a female boss and disproportionate amount of female coworkers.

We worked in a media company where the product was conferences and we were in the sales division.

The first thing I remember disliking are the interminable weekly office meetings ALWAYS HELD AFTER OFFICE HOURS. And there was absolutely no control over the proceedings in quality or quantity. Very often one particular Romanian female, admittedly quite likeable, would ramble on and on about irrelevant nonsense, much of it I cant even remember but hardly anything about the task at hand. I timed more than once 45-55 minutes was the average. And then you had ten other employees waiting in the wings. Always the females would talk non stop and non sense while men would keep it short for the most part.

Also keep in mind that most of the employees lived very far away from their workplace while the boss lived a 20 minute walk away. And more they waited beyond 1730 pm , the worse the commute got due to the increase in traffic pile up.

She did not care. Apparently office meetings did not count as "work" so they had to be held after office hours. But at the same time we had to discuss work related matters. Female logic at work.

Upon a female coworkers birthday , all work would stop -yes this is DURING WORK HOURS and the hours long celebration would begin. Male employees birthdays would be barely acknowledged.

At this point, perhaps you may be wondering about the intra office romances if any. Well yes and no.
Most of these broads were married or had boyfriends. But boy where they ever cockteasers and starfuckers. You would not believe the amount of cajoling these women would resort to just get compliments from our side.

Of course such coquettishness was put to good use in sales calls. Some women went as far as to promise email them pictures of themselves(this was before the era of social media) to ensure sales and therefore their commissions.

I also remember almost every week we would have on our hands a crying female be it a boyfriend break up, financial problems, work related stress or various other matters. I remember my team member , a sultry Romanian chick, weeping because she was being evicted from her shared villa due to her roommate's odd antics(I forgot what they were).
The boss far from chastising them for polluting the work environment encouraged them to express their grief in this explicit manner. While the men would just roll their eyes.

One interesting dynamic was the introduction of two new sales managers from our HQ back in Slovakia. All this while our very excellent sales manager who single handedly kept the company in the black was sidelined for promotion and as well as ignoring the talents of top sales associates(not women).

This was terribly demoralizing to much of the staff but boy did the women take to the new sales manager. He was the stereotypical alpha male sales douche who claimed to have a stellar record. He believed himself to be a combination of Alec Baldwin from Glengarry Glen Ross and Gordon Gecko from Wall Street.

Pretty soon the office got split between the old sales manager and the new carpet bagger with most men siding with in house guy with a proven track record with the women going for the flash. Hmmm

In the end all the teams he managed couldn't close their targets. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that he would spend much of his time watching shemale porn(honest to God!) and chatting with other female staff or that his training consisted of replaying videos of sales gurus. I don't know . The jury is still out.

Every claim in the above three sentences in true which is why I didn't use any names.

Not only that he managed to screw up recruiting by goofing off on interviewing candidates. So much so that even our boss whose bright idea it was to bring him over in the first place had enough and asked him to hightail it back to HQ.

The other sales manager was a female . She was far more amiable and professional , the poor woman wasn't really pretty but had the body of a model. Also she had a thing for your dear narrator. The problem was you guessed it, she had a boyfriend.

And now in retrospect, my female boss may have had the hots for me as well.  On more than one occasion she enquired about my sex life, she asked if I watched porn. When I answered in the affirmative, she said its best not to and if mind went in that direction that I should come to her and talk it over. But ....yes she was married . Also not pretty

What is it with these chicks I swear to god.

I mention all this not because your humble narrator is some kind of stud muffin (though certainly not a goblin either) but to highlight the desperate need of women for reaffirmation.

 Pretty soon both these new "managers" got the boot and for whatever reason the boss turned on me for whatever reason,getting increasingly hostile with each passing month. The nadir our relations was her hiring of a thoroughly incompetent,lazy and vicious Serbian woman as a marketing manager. The only managing she did was spacing her numerous 30 minute long coffee breaks throughout the day so she could maintain the illusion that she was somehow productive. She once ordered me to do something( using Adobe Design) which was not part of my job description but I had the know how. Because I didnt like her tone and more importantly I dont report to her, I told her to take a hike.
She went crying to the boss who gave me an earful but I didnt budge and lashed back just as furiously. She was taken aback from my rage and tried to placate me in private saying that the Serbian was out of line.

All well and good until one fine day , she was having a bad day and saw my messy desk(I try to keep it clean and was having a off day too), she blurted out- "are you man" in her best Lana from WWE accent. I just glared at her and she ended the conversation

Later I realized that was her time of the month. And btw quite a few female employees took the day off during the monthlies. Again this was encouraged by the boss.

Eventually I had enough and I tendered my resignation.

Six months later my boss was fired in a rather humilating manner and a new (male) boss shifted the premises to a more desirable location from every angle(especially traffic) and exponentially increased the revenue.

So there you have it. My experiences are my own I realize of course but I kept them in mind in my next job where I had to deal with quite a few female employees and my tenure was far more pleasant!!

Take what you will out of this

No comments:

Post a Comment